I’ve had a couple of really tough days. A mix of medication changes, being involved with an intensive outpatient program, and still having to work despite major concentration issues and the weight of all the work from my program have triggered me to have a couple of really difficult days littered with crying fits, hyperventilation, panic, racing thoughts including thoughts of self-harm, yet still my heart beats on.
I’ve learned a few coping mechanisms, and to my surprise, they’ve helped. I woke up crying this morning. I couldn’t seem to make it stop. So I grabbed my IOP notebook, and found a list of survival exercises. The one that was first was to place your face in icy water or find the equivalent. I took an ice pack and covered my face with it. It at least made me stop crying and literally cooled me down.
Secondly, the exercises suggested raising your heart rate through exercise. So I hopped on the the elliptical for 25 minutes and watched a show.
Thirdly, the exercises suggested eating something if you hadn’t. I had only ingested coffee, so I ate a high protein mini meal.
I then retreated upstairs to find a coping mechanism. I chose distraction. I watched celebrity interviews because they are light and mindless. When I was done, I felt the urge to be productive and started editing photos from a shoot that I’ve needed to complete for a long time.
My husband then came in and shared this song with me. The lyrics “It may look like I’m surrounded, but I’m surrounded by You,” spoke to my soul today, and I hope they also speak to yours.