I have a degree in theatre arts. Among all of the things that I had to do, I most often had to either memorize lines or write them.
Somewhere throughout the years, because of life experience and a little biology, I have formulated this script that I deliver to myself when my anxiety is high and my depression is low. Even when I’m feeling OK, these lines circulate in like a steady fan blowing in the background.
“You’re never going to feel better.”
“You add no true value to anyone’s life.”
“Your kids are going to be traumatized by you.”
“Your husband deserves way better than you.”
“You are a burden.”
“You’re never good enough.”
“I’m sorry for being me.”
This is my script, and it is on recitation in my mind every day. It is so ingrained in my thoughts that it has become muscle memory; there is no straining to remember these lines.
Logically I know that these are all fallacies. Therefore, I have to edit my thoughts and re-script the monologue to say something that is true.
“You are working toward wellness. Better days are ahead.”
“Your family loves you for you, not for what you give them.”
“Your kids are going to see that you are a strong, persistent mom who will be there for them.”
“Your husband chose you and has loved you through your worst. He has told you he’s in it for life, and he’s not a liar.”
“You are not a burden. You work hard and pull your weight.”
“Perfection is a joy thief. Your best is enough.”
“God is finishing what He has started in you. There is no need to apologize for being you.”
After learning something one way, it is extremely difficult to try to learn something a better way. When I was in acting classes and we forgot our line, instead of breaking character and losing the moment, we’d simply have to say “line,” and we would be given our line.
My way of calling out for my line is by working on writing these down so that I can see them in places such as my car or my kitchen. I say them out loud, usually in my car or my kitchen, I have my rock of a husband who speaks these truths into my ear when my eyes are filled with tears, and I can only remember the lines from the old script.
What are some lies that you believe about yourself? How can you re-script them in a positive way? I’d love for you to share in the comment section below.
Break a leg with your re-write!
Until tomorrow, friends!