Holy Wednesday, Batman!

Today been nothing short of pandemonium. It started off like s sweet and normal day, then BAM.

I don’t cope well when things get thrown out of my expectations. By that I mean, I don’t necessarily have to have a particular routine, but if I have an expectation that I have to meet on a certain day, and that expectation becomes compromised, I become a little more than uncomfortable.

The last couple of weeks have thrown several curve balls from cray injuries co-workers have experienced, to the death of a friend and husband’s co-worker, to my kids’ daycare being shutdown because of the stomach bug from hell.

All of that will make a mentally well person fairly stressed out, but if I were unmedicated and not currently practicing mental wellness exercises, I would be a mangled train wreck. Ya know, the kind that people see on the news, cringe, and say a quick prayer for…and then keep watching to see if the disaster can possibly get worse.

So, today started out fine. I was a little busier at work, but I don’t mind that cause I actually really like my job. Then between work and picking up my kids, I decided to stop by a craft store which always leaves me with a dichotomy of feelings because I like making things but thinking about making all the things makes me want to unspool some fuzzy fabric and swaddle myself until all the feelings go away.

I leave said store with heart palpitations, dizziness, the sweats, and a candy bar.

I had to sit in my car for 10 minutes (I lied, 20) and do some deep breathing exercises while I chewed my emergency Ativan that I always carry in my purse for times like these.

I save the Klonopin for when I literally cannot control myself, and I am swaddled on the floor, usually with my daughter’s blankie because she gave it to me because that’s how she knows how to make mommy feel better.

I will happily digress from that lovely image to continue my narrative about tonight. I get my sweet children home, we play in the rain, which is  surprisingly incredible for stress. We came inside, put on some dry clothes, ran around, and sang Disney songs extra loudly until it was time for me to make dinner.

On cue, my kids hated the main entree for dinner and loaded up on cornbread. In an attempt to throw something healthy in there, I let them eat a carton of strawberries.

Then it was Disney dance party time which was interrupted by a phone call from my dear and loving husband. He had blown a tire, again. This happened to him last month with our other car.

He spends 2 hours trying to free the spare tire, get the bad one off, and put the spare on while realizing that it needs air. He gets to the gas station only to find out the tire won’t fill with air. He’s at least 20 minutes from our house, and there is no way he can drive on that thing. OH-and he did all of this during a thunderstorm.

So what does he have to do? Call for help, and help came running.

Meanwhile, I call the jury summons number. Oh, did I mention that I was summoned for jury duty tomorrow? I’ve been summoned probably 10 times in my life and have never EVER had to serve. ____Until tomorrow morning.

Normally, I’d be all “Cool! I get to do my civic duty. I hope it’s a crazy murder case.”

But NO. Not today, and I feel my reasoning is more than fair.

My brother-in-law is have brain surgery. That’s right. FREAKING b r a i n surgery. Yeah. I kind of don’t want to miss that one.

While he’s having surgery, my husband and I had planned to duck out long enough to pay respects to our friend and his co-worker who unexpectedly passed away over the weekend. So there’s that important thing too.

While all this is certainly putting a strain on my mentally compromised self, I’m actually feeling pretty OK.

Here are the 5 things I do when get tense for me:

  1. BREATHE. You’re brain can’t fully function without oxygen. I breathe deeply into my belly, hold a couple of seconds, and then release it.
  2. STRETCH. I carry so much tension in my face, shoulders, arms, and hands. While I’m breathing, I roll my neck and shoulders and stretch out my arms, wrists, and fingers. I massage my face and the top of my head about an inch back from my hair line. This little spot carries a ridiculous amount of tension.
  3. PRAY. Because some things I can’t do, but God can.
  4. GET AWAY. I have to separate myself from the noise, and go to a lesser stimulating place. This is usually my car when I’m alone.
  5. MEDICATE. I’m talking about my emergency meds here. I try to reserve them for when my nerves are running a bit too hot, and I need to get things done.

So there you have it. It’s been pandemonium between my ears this afternoon, but rain is falling steadily and drowning out all other sounds.

May your night been uneventful and cozy. I’ve got to throw out the empty ice cream carton before my husband realizes I ate it all.

P.S. This will be me tomorrow trying to get OUT.

jess day jury

Nighty, night! Don’t let the bed bugs bite.



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